I hate how people make Lent their second chance New Years Resolution. People are completely missing the point of Lent.

I took the road less traveled and I did not find the damn airport.

I’m back on tumblr and I would love to get back in touch with the people I used to be tumblr friends with, pretty please send me a message.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? 
mhmmm.

15. RED OR PINK? 
I like all the colors equally the same.

28. EYE COLOR? Brown

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? 
Scary movies but not bloody movies they gross me out. I prefer supernatural/paranormal stuff.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? 
Summer, I loathe winter.

38. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION? 
Computer unfortunately, not that TV’s that great either. Ideally I would have answered this with neither but then I found Tumblr.

42. FAVORITE SOUND? 
I don’t know but I can tell you my least favorite sound is any sound my phone makes (text, call, alarm) It all annoys the hell out of me.

Since I’ve last written. I’ll try to catch everyone…if anyone’s still reading this, up to the current events of my life. 

So what was supposed to be a three month trip to Guatemala has turned into a year long trip due to the fact that all my stuff was stolen including my passport. Obviously without my passport I couldn’t go home and I missed my flight. But it was for the best since I started having sex/living with a  47 year old who owns a business here in Guatemala. Yes ladies and gents, that means I am now having sex with just one man. It’s so hard at times but we just had our 6 month anniversary and I have not cheated yet. I also celebrated my 20th birthday back in August (I still haven’t brought myself to change the headline on my blog though) It’s cool I guess but honestly I just feel like an old kid, too old to be a teenager but too young to drink. And my boyfriend and I got a cat together, her names Simba and she has affection issues, like most cats. Last but not least, I have made a very important decision, I am going to college if they’ll have me. That’s all for now folks, I’ll try to write more about my boyfriend and I soon because that story is a bit interesting.

Thanks for reading y’all

Cat breading with Simba. NBD.

tumblin’ tumblin’ tumblin’

I think I’m slowly putting some of my thoughts together. When I planned this trip to Guatemala I told myself I wasn’t running. I thought I was coming here to test myself and get some real life experience, grow up and take my first step into the world. Then I got here and yes my first 2 weeks here I was so focused on just surviving that not once did I think about sex, Eric or the situation that I had left behind. But as I got more comfortable here and started having more downtime my mind started working again. I started to feel the need to create some of the same situations around me that I had left and then I found myself unhappy again. I’ve thought about just going with it, sleep around, who really cares? But then I might as well have just stayed in Austin. So then I thought about isolating myself because I know I can be happy on my own but didn’t I come here to break down some of these walls and learn how to need people just a little? So I’m stuck between these two places and at the same time my mind is constantly wondering around to a million other things like “why do I still find myself arguing with Eric in my head?” and “will Swiss ever wonder back into my life?” I think about Robert sometimes too. I don’t think I told ya’ll about this but the day before I left he and I got into an argument. I think he was just tired of caring about me while I just pushed him around. I now have that weighing on my mind. This all brings me to the fact that I find myself back in a mental state that I was in fact running from. I’m just so over this world I’ve created from sex, seriously so over it. Why can’t someone just take me on a date for once?

I haven’t been genuinely happy lately. Maybe because I haven’t been taking my medicine, but I feel like it’s more than that, I wish I could put my finger on it. I read a quote that said “this time last year everything was so different.” So I thought back to this time last year and as it turns out everything was so incredibly different. I was so happy. I thought that coming here would help me put the next couple of pieces of my life together. Now I’m wondering exactly what it is that I’m doing. If I’m not here trying to let down my walls and reteach myself how to trust then what exactly am I doing here. My step dad always tells me that he thinks I intentionally surround myself with people that I know will disappoint me. I disagreed in the past but now looking at the situation that I’m finding myself in I have to wonder if maybe he was right.

Anyways, maybe this will pass. I’m just trying my best to hold on to everything that I’ve worked so hard for. I’ll let you know how I feel after my birthday.

P.S. I haven’t had sex in 3 weeks, I think this breaks records. But maybe it’s for the best anyways.

It’s the strangest thing but the past couple of night’s I’ve been thinking about and missing Swiss a lot. I think it’s because I’ve been listening to Norah Jones while going to sleep. Or maybe because I’m traveling and I know how much he really wanted me to come here and he himself is so well traveled. I just can’t help but want him here with me. The past couple of night’s I’ve told myself “tomorrow you are going to message him and tell him that you miss him despite what your pride says” but I’m yet to do it. I don’t know, a part of me really thinks that it’s best for us to just walk different ways. It was a great experience but that’s all it was. People so often get so attached something, someone or an emotion and then just hold on to it until it’s worn down to nothing (Eric and I for example.) I would just hate do that with Swiss. I really wish he was here with me though.

Anyways, things are starting to look up for me. Hopefully here pretty soon I’ll have new friends to talk about and share this experience with. I’ll keep you guys updated!

body Hola familia, Yesterday evening I met a really nice couple in their 40’s who invited me to dinner and helped me get a room at the same hotel they were staying at. They were also American (finally some fellow Americans) and said they had been here for about 2 and 1/2 months. At first I just met the gentleman, George, and when he started talking to me I was thinking about everything you guys said. I was thinking I wonder if he’s Algerian (Taken referance) does he want my organs, or maybe he’s just an old creep. I was so desperate for human contact at this point I just had to take a chance. He turned out to be a hippie from Seattle with a very nice wife. So I ended up switching to their hotel. It’s costing me a little over $100 a month but I only paid for 2 weeks, I’m still holding out for Zoola’s. I cannot even begin to tell you how nice it was to hear other people talking outside of my room in a language I could understand! The view is so beautiful, I can see the lake and I’m on the main street now, close to lot’s of restaurants and cafe’s. I feel much better now and am really starting to talk to the other people that are also taking classes at the school (including Robert, the cute nephew/grandson.) I’m starting to see a lot more people my age and I found this other resturant with with Indian, Asian and Mayan food. It reminds me a lot of Austin it’s got an Indian lounge feel to it and they show american movies at night. Apparently this is the place to be, right now I’m eating some really good kung pow…with tofu! And a really strong cup of coffee, this is actually my first taste of Guatemalan coffee and let me tell you Starbucks ain’t got nothing on this cup! Earlier today I went to the roof of my hotel (because this is the thing to do from what I hear) to read a book (Eat, Pray, Love, I can’t put it down) it was amazing and calming, a good self reflection spot! Seriously we should all start hanging out on our roofs! I saw another girl on the roof of another hotel tanning, so that’s what I’m doing tomorrow! So that’s it for today, I’ll talk to you guys tomorrow! Love and miss you allllll, Megan

Message body

Good afternoon, Not much has happened today. I have befriended a fellow american woman at my school, even though she is much older than me. Honestly it’s only because she has a very good looking grandson or nephew…I can’t remember, anyways he doesn’t say much but it’s not like I have a lot to do anyway so I have made it my goal to befriend him by this weekend. I asked my teacher to show me where the bank is so I could exchange my money today. I have been dying of dehydration and every store I go into they say “No americano dinero”, so I decided it was mas importante for me to get a hold of some Quetzales. I walked into the bank and they had two officers with big guns at the door, intimidating, but honestly that was the only interesting thing. They sold stoves and computers in the bank also, but that was it. The hard part about being here is being right in the middle of poverty. Just now a couple of kids walked up to me asking to shine my shoes, I’m wearing converse, they told me they needed new shoes and they were hungry and then just stood around with a really sad look on their face. My teacher has told me that to them it’s not poverty, that’s just how it is here. Anyways when we went to the bank my teacher, her name is Elda, showed me the market, park and Catholic church. The market smelled horrible but there was so much good fruit! The park was very small and all you were allowed to do was sit on the benches but it was very pretty. The Catholic church was amazing! It was old and painted a bright white on the outside. Inside was very dark with lots of candles and it smelled like incense. They had lots of statues that you could pray to and all the statues had lots of flowers in front of them. I have never seen a Catholic church like that before. Afterwards I went to a hostel called Zoola. I had heard a lot of good things about it and when I walked in I saw people sitting on pillows on the floor smoking there cigerettes, eating good food with their friends. I saw people hanging out at a swimming pool and the rooms were all painted bright pretty colors. I thought “man these people are living in a completely different San Pedro than me.” So I was all excited to get a room there and went to ask the girl about a room, she said “no rooms.” Seriously? I was extremely disappointed. I finally got my 2 Litros of water, seriously it’s a massive 2 liter bottle of water, and now I am back at the same cafe that I was at yesterday. I think I have found my comfort zone. Sorry this is so long and not very interesting, hopefully I find something to do tomorrow. Love, Megan

I’m between just posting the emails that I’m sending my family and writing something different to you guys because obviously the way/things that I talk to ya’ll about is a little different then what I tell my family. So I think for tonight I’m going to do both. I’ll post my three emails so I can catch ya’ll up on what’s going on here (because I know you are all just sitting on the edge of your chairs waiting to here about my life.) And then post something a little more personal.

Email #1.

Hola, As I’m sure you all have heard by now, I made it to San Pedro and I am alive! Everything got turned upside down as soon as I landed in Guatemala City. I thought I lost my luggage not once but twice! When I finally got outside of the airport and hour late it was pouring rain and cold (I remembered what I forgot to do, check the weather!) my shuttle was no where to be found. A nice tip-wanting gentleman chatted with me until the shuttle people finally found me. Then I got to Antigua, realized my phone infact does not work, thanks verizon guy, and waited for a shuttle that was 30 mintues late and then almost lost my life on the 4 hour trip to San Pedro. I literally thought “man what are the chances I’m going to die on my way to San Pedro and never even get to see it!” I wish I could explain that trip to ya’ll but I don’t even have the words for it. I had my first spanish class today. You will all be pleased to hear that it went very well but I do have to admit I did find myself thinking I could’ve done this at home ;) Oh and I taught my instructor how to use the word ya’ll. I am going to find a place to buy a camera and take lots of pictures for you guys. You wouldn’t believe what it’s like here. I had culture shock before I even got off the plane. It’s so different here, 3 things I have learned so far is: 1. The white and yellow lines on the street aren’t to direct traffic, it’s just decoration. 2. I found Texas’ rain, it’s here. 3. And Guatemala is actually an hour AND THIRTY minutes behind the US. This is the only explanation I have for everything being exactly thirty minutes late. I have found a nice internet cafe that I like and am looking into switching to a hostel with wifi so hopefully ya’ll will get daily emails from me (fingers crossed) Love, Megan

I know this is an abrupt change but I’m going to start writing about my time in Guatemala.

I just landed yesterday and traveled all day and finally made it to San Pedro at 7PM last night. Between you and I, I cried myself to sleep last night. I’m just so lonely and there is no one to double check your choices with and no one cares about me here. I am a very independent person but this is my first trip out of the country and I’m by myself. No amount of research or advice could’ve prepared me  for this. I thought when I woke up I would feel much better and I guess I do a little but I’m still finding myself choking up randomly. I think I will feel better once I make friends because so far the only person I’ve been able to talk to is my Spanish teacher. I see everyone traveling with their family or their friends and it just makes me feel really alone. But I haven’t even been here a full 24 hours so I’m sure I just need to give it time. The good news is my nerves and mind are keeping me from thinking about food and getting hungry so I’m sure I’ll lose a lot of weight, not that I need to but still it’s a plus. So anyways to wrap this up communication with you guys would be awesome. I just want some type of communication with the world.